I was raised by David Bowie in an old wagon during the early 1950s.
At that time David was so poor we had to suck tables for money.
It was okay though because our dreams were made of flumps and sherbert holidays.
Eventually we managed to weave our flumpy meanderings into a delicious velvet canoe and we paddled all the way down the Leeds Liverpool canal.
Unfortunately we were forever pestered the by mischievous crows.
This was a dampener on our day.